I SAW YOU AGAIN IN A DREAM
I saw you again in a dream last night
It's been years now but you’re still somewhere inside
You’re just as I remember, if not even better
You’re just as I remember and will stay forever
When there's worry in my waking and no chair at the table
You appear in my sleep to offer me a stable
The only constant I've counted, my head on your heartbeat
But I lost it in your leaving; I still listen for the repeat.
You don't say much to me for the words would be mine
But it's your smile, your company and that treasured time
For though it’s a dream none of that is imagined
I wouldn’t dare to, fantasy would fail in comparison
And it's as though nothing had changed
As if it were only yesterday
All of those feelings came straight back to me
To the same depth; to the same degree
My body in belief, my unconscious convinced
You’re nowhere to be seen but you left footprints
The lifetime of that love lay dormant, not dead
It was full enough to last the years not fed.
But the reunion is robbed with the stir of my stillness
I awake with the sunrise overcome with illness
There's no cure for remorse, no tonic for longing
To see you again makes me wish for what’s wanted
Like with all things of beauty, it came and went
But I knew I was loved and could be again
You reminded me of the goodness I couldn't see through the grief
That to smile again I must first unclench my teeth
Through the unkind curfews and conditions of life
I'll look for the linings or at least I'll try
I hope I see you in a dream again
I have what you left me to last until then.

             IN A DIFFERENT LIGHT

Such brilliance and beauty was there in my eye
On a different day and in a different light 
I might have believed it, how every part was perfect 
How the scale and detail gave everything place and purpose
The stillness I seeked was there in carried quite
On a different day and in a different light
I'd count clouds not hours, with nowhere else to be 
Not Europe or the coast or in unclothed company.  

I can't see clearly through the murkiness of mind
I can't hear truthfully through the loud and learned lies
Like a dog with tail dragged and the sight of one tone 
I envy the birds for freedom and light is their home
The ink is unbalanced and the brush is so heavy 
My hand fails the beauty I can picture so clearly 
The more the dark's used, the less the white shows 
And any progress that I make just seems to go

With even the purest of water, there’s corruption I can't cleanse
It's been with me from the start and no doubt will be there till the end
It began in my heart and spread to my eyes
I could cut it all out, but I'd no longer be alive
And at times that idea felt like the only option. 
I'd drive into to the night without slowing or stopping 
Kill the headlights and continue until
I’d forgotten myself; I’d forgotten to feel

The road became the sky and the moon, a failing light
I became the black; my breath, the softest sigh
That was liberation for a moment, there in the balance 
Now I just hide what's heavy with early hour hope and my habits 
Maybe I was a coward for I failed in that too
I found reason for life, or I just found an excuse 
But the coin still spins and I think it’s double-sided
I have a bag of loose change, but I can never seem to find it 

For there's an unconscious crying that clouds my eyes
A pained perspective that paints the world and tells the time
The hands are stuck but I could move them from their place
Though it doesn't strike me at all or it strikes me too late
To beat the bias that’s broken every bone in me 
To stand upright through the weight of my knees
And cultivate strength to sever strain and soften sight
To begin a different day and see in a different light. 

            THE SKY FOR YOU

In pursuit to prove my devotion's true
I obtained the sky for you
I tricked the gods into ownership
Now on my shoulder, I carry the weight of it 

Too much of course for a man to bear 
But I carry still to show that I care
So that you may say the sky is yours 
And I was the one who brought it forth.

            ​LOVE MEANT YOU
We became that which we feared
Fostered a flame that failed once appeared 
Embers became ash and that warmth just a wish
All that we had, now just a memory to miss.

In your strength I'd surrender, you'd think no less of me
The mirror without mist; you’d show how it is, not how it seems
I'd pray at your feet for your taken time
And I'd forsake sleep to dream in your eyes
Devoted to days at the start before we aged
But you, you changed somehow along the way
Or perhaps in fact you just hid so well
Ignorant, innocent, fooled I couldn't tell

Your voice, it’s volume, the song you sung, was so sweet
I came from the cold, you housed me with such heat 
But the sweetness was stained and the truth became late
That freedom we found was replaced with restraint
Words we traded were more scarce and lost care 
Their value degraded like the time that we shared 
Your whispers became wars and your beauty, it broke 
Your healing became the hurt; you spat when you spoke. 

Our hearts held in halo and our tongues tied in vow
We knew the heights of heaven, we kissed upon clouds
But they darkened in distance and with the rain we fell
To the depths with what was left. You saved yourself
I was a dreamer in the dark at the mercy of change 
That simple and perfect past, it started to fade
I couldn't colour the grey; the damage, the dying 
I couldn't make you stay and if you did you’d be lying.

By the time you left, you were already gone
Slowly slipping whilst I slept; without word, withdrawn 
You held my hand with your fingers crossed
Over everything we had, you chose the loss
I knew there were failings but I feared the difference 
I couldn't brave breaking, to risk such significance 
Love meant you and I meant always 
Our home was haunted; you left through the hallway. 

            I MADE A WISH FOR EMMA

Next to wishes already made, I made a wish for Emma 
Each a single flame at the ancient church in Naoussa
Amongst the face of God, I lit a candle in the dark
At the steps of the Aegean I made a wish on her behalf 
My belief is unburdened; I asked no faith or being
Just hoped I would be heard by whoever may be listening 
I wished for her good health and with that a prayer was sent
My wording was minimal but this is what I meant.

That she falls in love with this world and sees the beauty, not the bad
That the faith in things she feels now doesn't die like mine has 
Her eyes are coloured with wonder and never withdraw to worry
And everything she loves, she loves fully, not partly 
The highs and the lows are the shades of the self
All feelings fade. For all their glory, may they be truly felt
With depth but then distance, as she comes to know
How the heart is human, how it both perfectly aches and grows

Loneliness and sickness don't dare come too close
For no one deserves these devils, especially someone so full of hope
If any tears should fall, be infrequent and swift
The crying isn't done alone and is followed by a kiss
Everything is in its place:  a dance with perfect form 
Within her there's only stillness. Instead strike me with any storm
Her lungs are always full and her heart is always heard 
Over the hills where she'll run, her feet will never hurt. 

I hope she knows true love when she's beautiful and young
When the summer is forever and the future is unsung
I pray her heart is never broken to pieces too small to mend
It can be put together, each day better on from then 
May she never give up on love no matter how bad it hurt
The defences come back down, for to live in grief is worse 
Through the unrelenting years, her innocence might survive
That the enlightenment of youth doesn't tear away in time

She carries her mother's mind and her father's forgiveness
Hears all there is to be heard and becomes the best of it
She’s not too proud for guidance but doesn't take it blindly
Follows her own feet but takes each step fairly
Gets everything she wants but knows she already has enough 
Without giving up the ground, dreams far into the above
Her mind is the most precious and dangerous thing 
I hope she's smart enough to think, without letting thoughts win

Say there's someone out there who’s watching over her
Be the stars, or a saint, or those that came first 
When there's no one to fight for her, she finds her own strength
And doesn't lose it to life; I don't know where mine went 
She never has to ask if she is loved or she is wanted 
That sort of sadness stains the soul and leaves the heart haunted
May she be seen for all her beauty and all of its layers 
That she'll see it too and not forget the miracle we're made of.

​

​         ​THE BROKEN MAN
My emotion was the source of my voice that night
As it always is, but it’s never just mine
For a while I’m heard, for a while I’m seen
And I only hope one might hear what I mean
The broken man said “Thanks for making me cry”
I’d served my purpose; I struck something inside.